Backseat Fog

Hear it crackle let it burn

pass it round, take a turn

first it's there, then it's gone

fresh cut grass on your lawn

now you see it

now you don't

the magic could,

but it won't.

-poem by Sam Mann

Rothbury-The Walk Back to Camp

The questions behind her eyes were piercing, they desperately held themselves away, longing to be spoken.  She kept her thoughts to herself and walked along, letting the strangeness of the trip pass her by.  She looked at the people who traveled alongside her, they were both old friends.  The roots of their connection stretching all the way back to the foggy and dusty memories of childhood.  She couldn't help but let her mind wander over the changes the three of them had undergone.  They were in all respects, weird.  Three people leading completely different and separate lives, brought together for a shared love of music, life, and altered perception.  They journeyed on through the colored light and fog that encompassed Sherwood Forest, unable to breathe, unable to think, and unable to stop moving forward. 

Signs...or maybe not

Sometimes I wonder about things that happen to me.  I wonder whether they are just random occurrences or maybe, just maybe, if I could look at my life in it's entirety it would look like a treasure map with the landmarks of my life leading me towards something...something I'm supposed to do.  Today while I was riding my bike I saw a mass of black fur amongst the green of the trail.  It was a small black cat with foggy green eyes, we sized each other up, letting our eyes meet to evaluate each other.  I rode on, letting my eyes steal one last glance behind my back at the cat who slowly stalked across the path.  As I kept riding I saw a beautiful red winged blackbird sitting by the side of the trail. I acknowledged it but kept riding.  All of a sudden, I heard a death caw from a above me and felt wings beating down ferociously from the sky.  I was no joke attacked by a red winged blackbird.  When does that ever happen? It was terrifying and hilarious in it's craziness.  Things like that make me wonder,  is it a sign or is it my acknowledgement of the event as out of the ordinary that makes it a sign to me?  After all, aren't we the only ones who have the power to give our lives meaning?  

Realizations

Through all the cloudiness of this past weekend I managed to see things more clearly than I ever have before.  I was at Summer Camp music festival, a beautiful experience.  Running through swaying trees, surrounded by friends, sunlight peeking through pine needle shade...a beautiful experience.  I realized this weekend that when you smile, endorphins are released to your brain that make you happy, this means smiling is a drug, I realized that I am held together by the most amazing people I've ever known, and I realized this weekend that no one is going to hold my hand on this journey.  I have to be the change I want to see in both the world and in myself.  I can't be afraid to lead myself in a new direction.

tones

the tone changes...suddenly

my body is liquid melting

and moving to a rhythm i can't control

twisty turning arms and fingers 

swirl and intertwine with one another...........

forming new patterns

flying through thick air

hoping for an adventure,

 a new tone.

Everything's Groovy...

I had lightning on my nails and a smile on my face.

Feeling the memories fly by me,

like walking through a fog.

Sitting in a hotel room, talking and laughing.

Tossing a ball back and forth with dangerous

disregard for windows and lamps.

It's always in those early hours.

When words flew through our lips like water,

secrets came and went with the minutes,

smiles stretched for days, and city sounds crept through our senses.

It's always in those early hours,

the truth looks different.

Clear and raw in moonlight,

and we all saw it.

Four souls on the brink of exhaustion,

held each other...together.