Signs...or maybe not

Sometimes I wonder about things that happen to me.  I wonder whether they are just random occurrences or maybe, just maybe, if I could look at my life in it's entirety it would look like a treasure map with the landmarks of my life leading me towards something...something I'm supposed to do.  Today while I was riding my bike I saw a mass of black fur amongst the green of the trail.  It was a small black cat with foggy green eyes, we sized each other up, letting our eyes meet to evaluate each other.  I rode on, letting my eyes steal one last glance behind my back at the cat who slowly stalked across the path.  As I kept riding I saw a beautiful red winged blackbird sitting by the side of the trail. I acknowledged it but kept riding.  All of a sudden, I heard a death caw from a above me and felt wings beating down ferociously from the sky.  I was no joke attacked by a red winged blackbird.  When does that ever happen? It was terrifying and hilarious in it's craziness.  Things like that make me wonder,  is it a sign or is it my acknowledgement of the event as out of the ordinary that makes it a sign to me?  After all, aren't we the only ones who have the power to give our lives meaning?  

Realizations

Through all the cloudiness of this past weekend I managed to see things more clearly than I ever have before.  I was at Summer Camp music festival, a beautiful experience.  Running through swaying trees, surrounded by friends, sunlight peeking through pine needle shade...a beautiful experience.  I realized this weekend that when you smile, endorphins are released to your brain that make you happy, this means smiling is a drug, I realized that I am held together by the most amazing people I've ever known, and I realized this weekend that no one is going to hold my hand on this journey.  I have to be the change I want to see in both the world and in myself.  I can't be afraid to lead myself in a new direction.

tones

the tone changes...suddenly

my body is liquid melting

and moving to a rhythm i can't control

twisty turning arms and fingers 

swirl and intertwine with one another...........

forming new patterns

flying through thick air

hoping for an adventure,

 a new tone.

Everything's Groovy...

I had lightning on my nails and a smile on my face.

Feeling the memories fly by me,

like walking through a fog.

Sitting in a hotel room, talking and laughing.

Tossing a ball back and forth with dangerous

disregard for windows and lamps.

It's always in those early hours.

When words flew through our lips like water,

secrets came and went with the minutes,

smiles stretched for days, and city sounds crept through our senses.

It's always in those early hours,

the truth looks different.

Clear and raw in moonlight,

and we all saw it.

Four souls on the brink of exhaustion,

held each other...together.

Rothbury

A weekend...

worth remembering if I only could.

Memory's that splotch through time and space and reek of hard liquid spilling down my throat.  Laughter, the language of the gods indeed, flying through the green painted air.

The touch that warms, the smile that brightens.

The sky that darkens on a long day well spent.

A weekend filled to the brim, overflowing.

A weekend worth remembering if I only could.